Another week, another name for me. I seem to be getting quite as collection. By the time I leave they might even have got back round to calling me Siobhan again. This time James has christened me Shimbli (Swahili for lion cub) and it seems to be sticking.

Keeping with the animal theme I will relate some amusing incidents. I was astounded last week to observe a cow on the news. This is not noteworthy – Kenyan news often features cows. But this cow was drinking beer. Not only this but it was drinking beer in Makutano! On my next trip through this now interesting town I got Patrick to point out which bar this cow likes to frequent. Pity I can’t go and have a look. More alarmingly, there is a puppy thief on the loose! John caught this villain red handed trying to smuggle one of our puppies out of the compound. I hope it gave him fleas! We also have a chicken that walks like a duck.

Puppy snatchers are not the only drama we’ve had. The health inspectors paid a visit on 28th which caused a bit of a stir. As a result Kate and I spring cleaned and painted the kitchen store room. (Hand washing painty clothes is not fun.) On Wednesday (2nd Nov) night the whole of Forms 3 and 4 from Kaaga Boys (local secondary) decided to beat the stuffing out of each other over some stolen text books. I’m quite glad I didn’t find out what was going on until the next morning. It got so bad they called the police in and the only reason it never made the news is that they stoned away the reporters! Prayers generally for people’s tempers wouldn’t go amiss, especially as pre-referendum violence is also stepping up.

Less violent drama has come in the shape of Andrea’s discovery that Alessandro is in love with Maria Clara (sorry but I’m well and truly hooked on Secreto de Amore now)

The minister took Kate and I to Githongo Tea Factory. They have tighter security than Fort Knox!!! The sight of scary guards and an intimidating ‘NO UNAUTHORISED VISITORS’ sign almost sent me running back home. We couldn’t take photos and I’m surprised no one shoved a confidentiality form into my hand. Apparently rival tea companies send spies to steal trade secrets and sabotage the machinery or something.

We’re just heading into the peak tea season so soon they’ll be dealing with squillions of kgs. The whole country is hidden under a cloud of tea bushes. I felt rather like a Blue Peter presenter walking round picking up bits of tea in various stages of processing. Did you know that tea leaves are first withered, then chopped, then fermented, then washed and dried and finally sorted in groovy layered sieve thing? Well it’s true. I am now knowledgeable, cardigan-wearing expert so you should listen to me.

In addition to my status as professional expert I’m also turning into a mini preacher. I led Wednesday prayers again last week (Col 3:11-14 I think) Apparently it was good but I’m convinced it’s only the novelty of someone who talks for less than 10 minutes. The children have threatened to make me do Friday Fellowship. If you never hear from me again it’s because I’ve concentrated so much my brain has exploded.

This Sunday (6th) I went to a different church. Jeana Scofield took me to St Paul’s in Meru town. (Jeana is a mission partner from Britain working with schools on HIV/AIDS education. She lives just down the road from me which is very useful for eating apples and talking to someone who doesn’t try to explain things in Kimeru) St Paul’s is an interdenominational church – does going there count as treachery? I enjoyed the service better than Kaaga Methodist (sorry!) but it went on for ages as the school they started came and asked for money for a new school bus. At the end we had to stay even longer because Jeana was called to an impromptu meeting about said school bus. She wasn’t too impressed. It’s pretty hard going when every random stranger and also the not-so-random people you know presume you’re loaded because you’re white. Wouldn’t be so bad if I actually was really rich.

After we’d eventually eaten lunch it was off to some place that looks after babies that’ve been abandoned. I really can’t remember the name, all I can think of is ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’ and I know that’s wrong. The idea is that they keep them till age 3 then hopefully they’ll be adopted or else put into a Home rather like MCH (Meru Children’s Home). The most common ways they’re found is either on the roadside or the mothers leave the hospital and just leave them behind. Fear of AIDS is usually the reason though most of the babies are negative thankfully. The son of the cook at CCM is no longer afraid of me so it’s a good job I went to the baby place and found some more small kids to terrorize with my white-ness.

All the kids are off this week apart from Class 8, in order to have quiet for the exams (educationalists at home take note!). So it’s been quite fun. They’re constantly practicing dances for the carol service at Kaaga Girls on Friday. The schools break up for the year next week so Christmas season has to come a bit early in order to fit it in before everyone leaves school. They also had Friday off for Eid and we were all watching other people’s Divali fireworks last week. Everything feels quite festive so it was odd for Bonfire Night to pass by unnoticed.